Copia Magazine: Shooting Down Cupid: The Last Straw

There comes a time in every man's life when you know you just
gotta do what you gotta do. This night was no different.
Unfortunately, what I had to do was honor my commitment
to show up at a friend's cocktail party pre-load prior to
watching a live performace of West Side Story or something
equally as not-manly. Actually, it was Man of La Mancha.
Somehow "man" now seems ironically appropriate. But I told
her I would bring the bean dip, so what's a guy to do?

The problem was that it was opening day of college football season. Yeah.
Exactly. I know. I'm headed off to some freak show instead of honoring the
age-old tradition of camping out in front of the TV all day and night absorbing
the pageantry of one of the greatest days of the year. Not to mention that my
favorite teams all had big games that day, and what I really wanted more than
anything was to watch the scores stream oh-so-gracefully across the bottom of
the screen, as opposed to watching dudes prance and sing oh-so-gracefully on
stage. But alas, a commitment is a commitment. Sheesh.

I got to her condo just in time to realize that what I was wearing was awful. How
did I find out? Because her roommate and fashion-police officer told me so. After
a few adjustments, I was ready to head up to the roof for the festivities.

Gimme a beer.
Now.

The next order of business was a tour of the building, which is always a good
time. Since this building was downtown in a gorgeous city's high-rent district, I
figured it would be entertaining and would at least get conversations started.

The tour passed through the standard lobby and gym areas,
but things really got interesting in the common room that
could be rented out for parties and whatever else. Thankfully,
someone left the TV on ESPN and the scores were coming up
as we were going through the room. I stayed behind and tuned
in for the latest updates. That's when I noticed that the entire
group was long gone, except for one gorgeous blonde who was
also looking at football scores. Jackpot! This would be easy.
"So who's your team? Oh yeah? Me too!"

We talked for a bit and figured we had better catch up with the
group and refuel prior to boarding the party bus for the musical.
By the time we got back up to our friend's condo I found out that she was also
pretty close to skipping the party in order to watch football. Hmmm…this could
be good! When we checked scores prior to the musical, our teams had lost
heartbreakers. Well, off to the Man.

Somehow our seats were mysteriously next to each other. Let's see - how can I
screw this one up? Not sure, but I was sure it would be coming soon. We engaged
in more small talk and made sarcastic remarks about the casting and staging, and
then it was time to head back. I asked her on the bus if she liked country music
and if she'd like to go to an upcoming concert. She said yes, and I figured she
either a) really liked country music or b) she was just saying so because maybe,
just maybe, she wanted a second date. In either case, I was good with it. It turned
out to be all of the above, and I mean she really, really likes country music!

The second date led to a third, the third to a fourth, and we dated for almost two
years. It's been four football seasons, and we're now married. You didn't see that
one coming, did ya?

Sometimes when you don't want to do something it is exactly when you need to
do it. It was a fun ride and I hope you enjoyed the column over the past few
months! I'm particularly proud of the way we got engaged, but that would take
another column. Cupid's done!