Are You Serious? - Nick Jahn
Have you ever gotten the feeling that you were supposed to meet someone
right under your nose, but hadn't paid attention to that feeling until now and
then all of a sudden it all fell into place and it turned out to be the one you'd
spend the rest of your life with? Me neither.

Although once, when I was traveling on business to a place that I had been
to several times before I struck up an interesting conversation with a local
business owner. Let's call her "the bartender" just to keep this anonymous.
She was attractive, if not several years older, and seemed to be a fun type
of person. Or maybe - just maybe - she was only fun because there was
usually beer involved and she only seemed to like me in a "dude, the
waitress at Hooter's was so totally into us!" kind of way. But for now I must
believe what I want to believe and it's my column. And that's that.

One evening we got to chatting and I made a joke out of getting her phone
number and that maybe we should go to a movie some time. She played
along and gave me her phone number and said she was free that weekend.
I just laughed it off and figured that since she was a flirt with every guy that
came in that she was full of crap and I had no business calling her. Even if
the number was real and she did want to go out, and since I had heard a lot
of stories about how she led guys on and never went out with them, I told
myself it would be stupid to call on so many levels. Not to mention that all of
the movies out at the time were pretty pathetic, which meant I would actually
have to become a conversationalist. And short of buying Rosetta Stone for
English, becoming an engaging and charming speaker does not happen
over night, people.

So, in a word I blew it off. The weekend came and went and Tuesday (or
was it Wednesday?) rolled around and I went back to the restaurant to get
whatever it was that I usually got on a Tuesday or Wednesday. Instead of
the usual "Hi", I received, in front of everyone at the bar, a very cold and
deliberate "you never called me, Nick." Well now - just where exactly does
one go from here when called out in front of a whole bar full of people who
absolutely adore the bartender and have for years? I got chilling stares from
people who didn't even know me. I thought "come on, it's not like I knocked
her up or even just, well you know, rang the doorbell!" But from the looks I
was getting I was guilty until proven dead. Harumph. Fine time to merely
want a beer on a Tuesday (Wednesday?)

There was really no good response to her comment. It's like being asked,
"Do you still beat your wife?" Either way you are screwed. In fact, I really
don't even remember what I said after being confronted. I only remember
thinking "damn, I really, no-kidding, should have called." At least if I had
gone out with her I would have had a good story if she had said, "you never
called me" after the date. That would have been a good night, right?

The worst part is that you'd think I would have learned from this experience
and not ever blown off another woman who gave me her phone number. But
I am a ridiculously slow learner, as it turns out. However, I can also recover
pretty quickly. In this case, I would need to.

Copia Magazine
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